Why I Said Goodbye To My Platinum Blonde Hair - That Cheap Bitch

Why I Said Goodbye To My Platinum Blonde Hair

Monday, May 4th, 2015

About a year ago, I was obsessed with platinum blonde hair. Everywhere I turned there seemed to be a hip girl with a platinum pixie cut, or someone with pastel purple fairy hair. I had been dyeing my hair red since I was a freshman in college, and decided it was time to switch up my look. I headed to a beauty school and crossed my fingers that my hair would come out white blonde and beautiful. And it did! For 10 months I had Marilyn-Monroe-esque locks, sometimes pink hair, occasionally blue hair and more often purple hair. But this past weekend I decided to hang up my toe head hat. I’m back to my red tresses, and if you’re curious why, it’s your lucky day…because I WROTE ABOUT IT BELOW! Betchya didn’t see that coming!


1. Being blonde is too much maintenance.

When I get my hair done, because I have a short crop, the hairdresser tends to tell me “come back in five weeks for another haircut.” To which I nod and smile, but think in my head, “yeah right. I am not shelling out $50 a month so my hair looks perfectly pixied at all times.” This is also what I thought when I was told I’d need to get my roots done every five weeks with blonde hair. I was wrong. You really do need to get your roots done every five weeks, unless you want big patches of brown hair that match the color of subway rats on your head. Next to the blonde, my natural light brown color looked nasty. And the roots grew so quickly, it always felt like I could see them only a week out from a dye job. Not only is scheduling a hair appointment in my already busy schedule frustrating, but it also brings me to my next point:

2. Getting your hair colored every five weeks is expensive as f**k.

The first time I bleached my hair, everything was fine. The second time, I had the most painful experience of my life. After that chemical burn nightmare, I decided that hair schools were not quite good enough for my sensitive scalp. This meant instead of paying $55 every time I wanted my roots done, it was at least $120. I tried my best to go to different salons each time so I could take advantage of new customer deals, but shelling out that much cash for my hair was cheap bitch blasphemy. Now I can spend that money on more important things, like unlimited mimosa brunch or nacho cheese covered hot dogs.

3. Manic Panic is fun…until it’s not.

I loved having the freedom to dye my hair any shade of the rainbow, but after being bleached for 10 months, I was finished with pastel hair. The last color I dyed my hair was blue, and it took two months to completely fade. At the end, there were little bits of green, blue, silver, and yellow in my hair. I had a good inch and a half of grown-out roots on top of my cranium, and I was so sick of having patchy blonde, brown, and blue locks. I’d set out to do the pastel hair thing, and I did it many times over. It was time to move on.

4. Everyone else is doing it.

Okay, for this reason I’m half serious, half joking. Have you seen how many people are dyeing their hair pastel colors now?! Hilary Duff. Kylie Jenner. Even Julianne Hough, a.k.a. the most boring and occasionally racist celebrity ever, went pastel. Obviously I am a unique snowflake work of art that follows the lead of no one, so, bye basics. LOLZ JK, sort of. 

5. My hair was totally fried.

From bleaching my hair so often, my hair was dry and brittle. I was shedding like a labrador, and no products could make my hair feel healthy again. I decided having unmanageable, straw-like hair was not worth it. Now that I don’t have to bleach my hair every five weeks, my locks will have a chance to recuperate.

I’m glad I went blonde and I may do it again someday. In fact, It feels weird to be a redhead again, because I dyed my hair blonde at a very defining time in my life. It was really representative of being comfortable with myself and letting go of things from the past that were holding me back. The red reminds me a bit of days where I wasn’t so sure of myself, and it’s making me feel some feelz. But I’m looking forward to revamping my style around the color, keeping it vibrant, and moving forward.

  • Angela Taylor Steier

    6. The red is so much more flattering to your eye and skin color.
    Good decision.

    • Oh thanks, but I actually think I look good either way because I’m a cocky bitch 🙂

  • Jill Firns

    All totally valid points. The green hair has seeped into my personality now and I feel like it just makes me “me” for the time being. I’ve also avoided the hair frying by just continually dying blue ontop of my roots. Since November, I’ve only had my roots lightly bleached once. I’m such a half-ass!!!

    • That’s IMPRESSIVE with the roots. You rock your green hair.

  • Mary Kruger

    Fortunately, the color of your hair does not change who you really are. You are unique and beautiful with red hair and I personally LOVE IT!!! Besides, it saves a lot of time for you to write more great articles and make videos. LOVE YOU in any hair color! XO

  • lovely mystery wild

    you are sooooooooooooooooooo adorable omg and i love all of your crazy hair colors -lovely <3

  • Here you have explained your personal experience about blonde hair. I really like to share and read these kind of stories which shows some realistic things.

  • Ashley Chapman

    It’s towhead. You don’t have a foot for a head.