Monday, July 4th, 2016
After an 11 month break, I figure it’s time to get back to blogging. Because I miss it and I have cool secondhand clothes I want to show off. I’ve also acquired a camera flash as you might be able to tell from the picture below, and a new tattoo, which you can’t tell from the photo below. But just be patient, that’s coming up soon enough.
I got this shirt from a clothing swap at Bustle, not sure which of my coworker’s it was originally but THANKS!
So what have I been up to for the past 11 months? A fuck ton of stuff, actually. As planned in my “reveal all my traffic secrets” video on Facebook, I spent most of my waking hours focused on my work at Bustle, where I made this funny video, and this funny video, this more serious video, and a bunch of others. I also got to make 2 short documentaries which was something I never thought I’d do, and produce 3 episodes of Season 1 of Love, Factually.
Outside of work, I made a habit of writing in a journal every day, took a butt ton of photos, and tried my hand at watercolor painting (no links to that work because I suck, but it’s fun). I went to San Francisco and Washington DC, and planned trips to Los Angeles and Salt Lake City for the near future.
Oh, and I turned 25! Frankly, I’m pretty damn sure 25 is going to be the best year of my life.
My gift to myself for my 25th birthday was a new tattoo from Three Kings Tattoo in Alphabet City. Although I’m all for tattoo positivity, and a drag queen once told me “tattoos are like dreams, they only mean something to those who have them,” (which I thought was genius), I like to get tattoos that represent something that will never change. That’s opposed to say, a song lyric or a something I find aesthetically pleasing. My first tattoo is on my shoulder, an outline of the state of Missouri, which is where I’m from. This tattoo is of aperture blades, 9, specifically. Aperture blades live inside the lens of a camera and open and close to determine how much light is let in. It has 9 blades because I recently purchased my first big kid lens, the Sigma 18-35mm f/1.8 and it has 9 blades.
Here’s a closer look from my Instagram.
A more metaphorical take on my tattoo, other than the literal “I make videos and take photos with a camera” angle, is that the aperture blades inside your camera determine depth of field. When your depth of field is very shallow, you get photos like this one, where only the subject is in focus. Even though having a shallow depth of field can make pictures look pretty and cinematic, it can be more difficult to take photos because you risk focusing on the wrong subject if you’re inexperienced or aren’t paying close attention. I’ve struggled with ADHD and an anxiety disorder for pretty much my whole life, and focus, whether it be the lack thereof provided by ADHD or the extreme, sometimes problematic hyper-focus caused by anxiety, has been a constant for me. It can be really great sometimes! I think my ADHD makes me creative, and my anxiety, when it’s manageable, motivates me to make imaginative work (like this blog) rather than sitting down and watching Netflix or something. But it also makes life difficult when my anxiety is at its peak, and I’m focused on what I fucked up at work, or obsessing over something I said that could be misconstrued, or even worse, when it’s hard for me to see the good in other people because I’m only able to focus on their imperfections. Something I learned at 24 is that when you’re really hard on yourself, it’s really easy to be just as hard on other people. And that shit is toxic for yourself and those around you. When your “depth of field” (see what I did there?) is shallow, and you’re hyper-focused, you can’t see the full picture. In the past year I’ve figured out that a combination of self-care and compassion makes it easier to see the beauty in everything and everyone. And it makes it a lot easier to fall asleep when you’re worried about some random shit everyone is going to forget about tomorrow.
So, now that emotional stuff is over, let’s get back to FASHUN BLOG TALK.
That Cheap Bitch will be a little different going forward than it was before. I used to focus a lot on articles that provided a service (how to remove Manic Panic, what to do when you burn your scalp with bleach) and aggregated content for traffic via Pinterest (colorful pixie cuts and DIY projects). Those two types of articles combined, SEO traffic and Pinterest traffic, really expanded my audience. But now that I’m putting more steam into my photography and videography efforts vs. fighting for clicks, That Cheap Bitch of 2016 will be more of a personal blog. It will still be about my thrift store finds, what I’m selling to Buffalo Exchange this month, and news on the hair-dye experiment front. But where as I used to use this blog as a tool to push my career and skillset as a creator further, now it’s more for the hell of it. I also won’t be posting quite as frequently as I did back in 2015.
So for those of you who’ve been around, I hope you stick around. Thanks, as always, for clicking and reading. This should be fun!